Break

Winter break is in full swing, and I have spent the last several days doing (almost) nothing! Normally, that would sound less than spectacular, but in this case, it is great. Not to sound like I'm bragging, but I've been working pretty hard, and its real nice to get a break.
We've had a pretty big snowstorm here, and there's a lot of snow around. Nathan's school had a snow day on Monday, and there's a lot of snow around. (Oh yeah, I'm at the lake right now, not South Bend) I've been back in Merry Lea a couple of times, and it was a really a whole different experience back there when there's a foot of snow on the ground.
Other than that, there isn't that much to tell. I'm just enjoying the break.

1/8

That's how much of medical school I have done. With the semester over, I thought it would be a good idea to finally write some more on here. Mostly, I've just been studying, which doesn't translate into anything cool to write about. But supposedly I learned all of histology in 3 and a half weeks... I took the NBME shelf exam today, so I guess when I get the results back, I'll find out if I really did learn what I needed to know.
Anyway, I now have about 2 weeks off of school.
So I guess that about covers it.

I couldn't think of a good title...

If you had asked me today "How are you doing?", I would have said (like Joyce of Wengatz hall cleaning fame): "Doin' pretty good for a Monday...!" Actually, it was a pretty good day. Probably the best thing to happen was that I found out I pretty much rocked my histology test's world. So that had me feeling pretty smart...
However, tonight I went to this talk "they" had at the school about blood clotting and deep vein thrombosis (prophylactic thrombolytics to be more specific...). It was really geared for the orthopedic surgeons in the audience, of which I am clearly not one. After that, I no longer felt smart at all. In fact I felt pretty dumb. Most of the time, I had about a 10% idea what they were talking about. But on the positive side, I got to watch some people argue with the presenters during the Q&A time. So that was interesting. But again, they were mostly arguing about stuff I didn't quite understand.
Anyway, I enjoyed it on some level, mostly on the level of: 'wow, look how much you don't know--now go study!' Which isn't all bad.

What are books?

Well, the Thanksgiving holiday is over, and am totally back into school. With a whole histology class to fit into just three and a half weeks, I don't really have a choice but to hit the books with a vengeance. Which is hard to do after a four day weekend. But I guess it happened today.
I say I guess it happened, because I got the the end of my studying tonight (about 15 minutes ago), and come to think of it, I can't really say one thing that I know for sure that I learned today. So in some respects it feels like a wasted day. Of course, I'm pretty sure that studying was still worthwhile, but it just didn't feel as productive as it could have been. But that's how it goes I guess. As long as I learn what I need to know, everything will be fine.

I don't have a whole lot to write, but I did take a walk in Merry Lea while I was at the lake, and I took these pictures.

Well, the results are in! I was just checking out the "Compare People" application on Facebook (Shut up, you know you've looked at it too, OR you're about to), and I am ranked 74th in the "rather hang out with for a day" category. However, I'm ranked 6th in the "rather get stuck in handcuffs with" category. So what you're saying is, you wouldn't want to be with me of your own accord, BUT if you were HANDCUFFED to me, that would be ok. I suppose that makes sense.
Of course, its not all bad news. I got the silver in being "more well-mannered", and "braver".

Well, Thanksgiving has come and gone, and also, my family has left for California. I am still here at the lake until tomorrow though. Last night, me, Brad, and Chris were on our way to go bowling when someone remembered that our friend Andrew (A. Riddy if you're in the know. Except I think now we have to just call him "Riddy") was in Fort Wayne for the weekend. So we gave him a call, and he came with us. I hadn't seen that guy in a few years. It seems like he's doing pretty well, at least, he's doing what he wants to be doing I guess.
So obviously the weekend has been a welcome break from studying. Not having class and also not having pages and pages of text to read is a weird feeling. But, not a bad thing, at least for a few days.

Tranquilo...

So, in regards to my last posting on here (just a few hours ago)...

I was clearly overreacting a little bit... I'm not sure what came over me. But, after talking to some of my calmer classmates (who remarked that several in our class were kind of being ridiculous), I think I have come to see that, hey, its not that big of deal. So what if we don't have EVERYTHING spelled out right away. It's gonna be fine, and also, the school brought in this professor all the way from Fort Wayne because he's supposed to be good at what he does. He probably doesn't really WANT to be here (i.e. did he have a choice?), so we should probably cut him a little bit of slack.

Even if none of that was true, we should probably cut him a little slack, or at least be a little bit more respectful, just because he's our teacher, and he knows more than us. Even for selfish reasons: he's gonna be giving us our grades...

So yeah, I think I've learned a life lesson today. And that is, RELAX. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? I fail one test? Already happened, but I'm still here, and I don't even have bad grades. And even if I did, how bad would that be? (As long as I'm doing my best, that is).

Just in case you were wondering, no drugs were taken during the writing of this post... all natural "seeing the light". Can I count tranquility as part of my Self-Care Competency #4?

Transition

So, a lot has happened since my last post. Most notably is the fact that today was the first day of another 'block'. What that means is that another class is over! Which is great. I'm pretty sure that I passed, cause I think I would have had to get about a 20 percent on the final to fail. I guess that is a possibility, but really only if all of biochemistry got revised overnight. And since I think they would have bothered to tell us that (or maybe I would have seen something about it on the internet), I don't think that that happened.
Anyway, I started histology today. For those who don't know, histology is the study of tissues. And it is EXCITING! Just kidding, its really not that exciting. It involves looking a microscope slides, pictures of microscope slides, and theoretically it involves making microscope slides. But we don't get to make any microscope slides. Because this is medical school so ^obviously^ we don't need to know how to do that...
The teacher for the class is not from South Bend. They had to bring in somebody from Fort Wayne because for some reason (that nobody will talk about...I wonder why?) the old histology teacher "resigned" last year. Anyway, so far the class is kind of ridiculous. The guy came in, didn't tell us his name, didn't give us a syllabus or anything like that, started talking about his "laser disc" that has all of these pictures on it, and then launches right into lecture. So, at that point, I didn't know his name, what we were doing, or really anything that you might want to know before you start a class. So, great day... We did finally find out what book we're using, and that we do, in fact need it. I guess I should amend that. I finally found out what book we're using. Our class representatives found out awhile ago, and went over to the Notre Dame bookstore to make sure that they would order it so they had it when we were all looking for it.
Guess what? They didn't have it. So we have ordered it off of Amazon.com, and supposedly it will be here tomorrow. We'll see.
Good times. On the positive side of life, this is only a 3 day week, we have our first intramural basketball game tonight, and we had this speaker come in at noon today who is a general trauma surgeon, and got me convinced that I want to be a general trauma surgeon (of course I have thought that after every speaker they've have come in...)

Down, Set, Hike!

I had a big test today. Actually, I don't know how big it was. It was one of 4 for my class. I don't know, maybe it actually was a big deal. I guess its possible I'm just rationalizing because I didn't do all that great on it... Maybe. But of course, I studied like crazy for it. In fact, I don't know what I would have done differently to try to learn the material in the time that I was given. There was just a lot there. Who knows.
But hopefully I did "good enough". I don't know if you all have heard of it or not, but Positive Psychologists talk about something called "satisficing", which means doing "good enough" instead of "maximizing"--doing as good as is humanly possible. They will tell you that you will probably be happier if you try to just do good enough more of the time than if you try to do the absolute best all of the time. Of course that just means lowering your standards, but who cares. If it's good enough, its good enough. And if you really need to do something REALLY well, then do it. Just don't do it out of habit. Because "good enough" is, in fact, good enough. If it wasn't you would call it NOT GOOD ENOUGH. But you don't.
Anyway, earlier today, we had a short demonstration on how to deliver babies by the St. Joseph residency program. Which basically amounted to free lunch, and residents trying to show all 30 of us at the medical school how to do it using 2 mannequins all at the same time. I guess you just catch. Actually, all I learned from that was "O-A = Okay!". Which kind of sounds cool if you say it, even if you had no idea what it meant... Anyway, it was pretty crazy. But you can't argue with free lunch and sweet mnemonics.

Well, that's about all I got. Enjoy Wednesday, the Day of Wednes. Possibly the Day of Wetness if it rains again. Or the Day of Witness of the Jehovah's Witnesses come to your house.

Just to be up front, this is me procrastinating. I have a test tomorrow morning, and I really should be studying. I will, I'm just taking a break.
As it turns out, I don't know what I need to for the test. We had a "TBL" today, which means a Team Based Learning session, over some of the stuff that we're gonna be tested over. Wow. That was hard. I guess I didn't realize just how much I hadn't learned yet. A TBL basically goes like this: we take a quiz by ourselves. Then we take the same quiz in our "TBL Group". After that, we do "Application" questions. We have questions that we have to answer, and then we have to tell the whole class what our group got for an answer.
It probably sounds like a great idea. Its not. Basically, we get asked questions that are pretty open ended, and have to pick a multiple choice answer. Then, we have to hold up a little card saying what answer we chose, and then (like pretty much always happens) when my group picks the answer that no one else chose, the rest of the class (who at this point is convinced they're better than us) laughs at us, and we have to explain why we chose the answer we did. Well, we aren't always wrong. But we are usually the team with the "different" answer. Well, today, we had a different answer from all the other groups, and my group was all like "aw, we got it wrong" before we knew what the real answer was. So I said, "hey, that doesn't mean we necessarily got the wrong answer." Which is true. Regardless somebody from the other group was like, "yes it does". That really got me.
Good times.

Another day in the life...

Where to begin? Friday was a decent day. I realize that now it is actually Saturday, but close enough. Let me give you just a snapshot of today, and realize that this is pretty much the story for the past couple of weeks. It goes like this: Thursday night, I set ALL 3 of my alarms to go off at 7am (phone), 7:15 (radio), and 7:30 (more phone). This was at about 1:30am. So it was a short night. I woke up to my first alarm. Went back to sleep until the second one. Changed the third on to go off at 7:40. finally get up at 7:40. Now realize that class starts at 8. So I had 20 minutes to get up, get ready, find everything, get out to the car, scrape the ice off of it, and drive to school before class started. But, lo and behold I made it there just at 8:00. I looked at my clock, and it said exactly 8. So yeah, the point is, I was tired.
I got through the lecture time for the day (4 hours), and then it was time for lunch, and more studies afterwards. Ironically, I actually tried to take a nap when I cam home for lunch, but I couldn't sleep. Possibly all of the coffee that got me thru lecture had something to do with it.
So I spent the majority of the afternoon and evening and night at school reading about biochemistry. I also was introduced to some drink from Starbuck's called, say, Cafe Americano or Late Americano, or something "Americano". Supposedly it had a lot of caffeine in it. I believe it. But it helped me study for a while. They say that caffeine stimulates your brain in a similar way to drugs like Ritalin, and that helps you focus. Well, I think they're right, cause I was FOCUSED. Seriously, I was on a roll, until it wore off. Although come to think of it, maybe it hasn't totally worn off yet. I'm kind of on a roll right now.
Actually, I did have a really productive day, after I finally go up. Tomorrow, though, I'm not setting an alarm (let alone three). And I'll probably try to be productive, but Notre Dame plays Navy, and I have a ticket, and I'm probably going. Actually I am going. So there goes being productive tomorrow.


A closing story: Two micelles were dropped in a bucket of cream. The first micelle did nothing. But that second micelle got stirred around, and around, and around, until it engulfed the first micelle. I AM that second micelle!

How is it October 31st already?!?

Happy Halloween!
In other news, yours truly is hard at work with biochemistry. We've got about 2 and a half weeks left of it, and I cannot wait to put this behind me. Sounds a little familiar. I have a feeling I'm gonna be saying that quite a bit for the next couple of years...
Alright, I've got to go--the Krebs Cycle calls... actually, it just cycles. And actually, now that I think about it, I'm not even doing that part right now. Although, in one sense, I AM doing that right now...

I'm not sure WHY it happened, but I'm glad THAT it happened

So, since we last met, I've been a little busy. There's just a lot of stuff going on. And its not even ALL school! Actually, I should say, it isn't even all studying. I even went to the USC game on Saturday.
But there's a lot of that going on too. I just had my first biochemistry test this afternoon, for example. I should mention right now, biochemistry isn't easy, but so far it's not as bad as anatomy.
But that's not what I want to write about. Actually it is kind of about school, but not biochemistry. I have a "Behavioral Medicine" class. And sometimes we have guest lecturers. We had one today. I actually had met him a week ago (and he seemed like one of those people that talks a LOT, like a salesman or something), and so I knew when I walked in the room that it was going to be quite the lecture. Anyway, this man is an ER doc, and like I said, I really don't now what he was there to tell us about. He talked about a couple of cases, one of which was a relative of his. But the entire time, he kept making jokes about the "9 clinical competencies", the stoplights in Kokomo on your way to Indianapolis, the neighbors, etc. Maybe you had to be there. He also told some people in my class they were "too combative", and "too serious", which was funny, cause they didn't like it.

That was at 8 am. It was one of those days, when you don't want to wake up (name that tune... for $1). The point is, it wasn't at all what I was expecting, and it was hilarious. And I was glad I went to class.

Good News

So it is that we come to the end of another weekend... Almost time for Monday! One real good thing that happened this weekend was that I got my score for the national Gross Anatomy test. I won't tell you what I got on it, but I can say that I'm now just about positive that I passed Gross Anatomy! Which is great. 'Cause, like I've said before, it was the one class that I REALLY wasn't looking forward to (and now it's over).
But that doesn't mean that now I get to slack off. My prof sent us this quote along with the email telling us to go get our scores, and I liked it. It goes:

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
- Winston Churchill

I liked it. Its a good reminder that no matter what happens, there's no reason to get too down about things, but at the same time, if things go well, you shouldn't get too complacent or lazy either. So at this point the goal is just to keep working hard, and doing the best that I can.

Tangentially, another interesting quote from anatomy is; "Gentlemen, damn the sphenoid bone!" - Dr. Oliver Wendell Homes, Sr. (Professor of Anatomy at Harvard Univ., and father of the Supreme Court Justice, OWH, Jr.)

When I Look in the Mirror, All I See is the Face of Organization

Well, I finally gave in and got one of those PDA's you may or may not have heard of. For those who don't know, PDA stands for Pretty 'Danged' Amazing, and what a PDA does is, the minute you start using it, it makes everything in your life run smoother. Your IQ goes up at least 60 points, if not more. You never forget, or forget to do, anything (cause its all in the PALM OF YOUR HAND!). You get a raise, a promotion, and a new car within the first week, and if you're not making 6 figures by the end of a month, you better check your warranty, cause I bet that's covered. In addition, you instantly gain the respect of your friends, you attain Nirvana, and you think of the solution to world peace.

Actually I did buy one of those things. So everybody keep on the edge of your seats. Something huge is gonna happen...

Coming back to reality, fall break is over tomorrow, and its time for 5 and a half weeks of Biochemistry! I've been reading for that all day, and I even went over some parts of my old chemistry books to try to get back into the swing of molecules. Right now, I feel like I understand chemistry a little bit. My prediction is that after tomorrow, I will feel like I do not understand it at all. But that's life.

The Calm Before The Storm

As of this weekend, I am done with my first class in medical school, and I am currently enjoying a LONG weekend (that's as opposed to a long Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc.)! I've been back at the lake since Friday evening, and it's been good to finally leave the "Bend". Of course, I'm going back tomorrow, but I've still got a couple of days to kill before Biochemistry starts. Speaking of which, the joke that has kind of developed in my class during the time we were doing Anatomy was that for basically anything that anybody wanted to do, but didn't feel like they had time for, we could just say something like 'I'll have time for that once Biochem starts...' Well, we'll see if that pans out... At any rate, it will be something totally different.

Its great to be putting some 'water under the bridge', if you will, and get a whole class out of the way. I think I've said this before, but I really am starting to get used to what I'm doing, and getting better at it as well.

Thank You, and Goodnight

Earlier today I was subjected to the harrowing experience of lab clean-up. While not a fun experience, lab clean-up really means that I am done with anatomy lab! Of course, it also means that I am done with anatomy lab... (in a bad way). I enjoyed anatomy lab. In fact, I spent about 5 hours extra time yesterday on my own looking at things that we didn't have a chance to see in the scheduled lab time.

Dissection is a rewarding activity, and though it was a stressful thing at times to HAVE to dissect and do other studying at the same time, there is no replacing the experience that real-live dissection can provide.

I suppose now it is time for me to 'wax poetic' about donating your body to science, and how great that is. Obviously it is not for everyone. Having done what I have now done, I don't think that I would want to do it, nor would I advise anyone else to do it unless they really wanted to (donate their body). But, that said, I am really grateful that someone was willing to let some stranger (me) use his body in the pursuit of learning medicine.

This evening, as a class, we went over to the "Grotto" at Notre Dame, and lit a candle for each of our cadavers, and had a moment of silence to honor them. I was glad that we did that, even though it took away time that could have been spent studying for the big test of Friday, because it gave a sense of closure to the whole experience.

One Week

One week. That's all that separates me from being done with my first class in medical school. However, as a part of that week, I have to spend a ton of time getting ready to take the National Discipline Exam. It is great fun. So far today, I have looked at pictures in Gray's Anatomy for about 6 hours, and I have reached page 419!
This is probably a good place to point out, for those who don't know, that before Gray's Anatomy was a popular TV show, it was a world-famous Anatomy textbook. Just thought I'd drop some knowledge on ya. I guess not everyone knows that. I think they spell "Gray's" differently though. maybe with an "e". But I don't feel like looking it up, cause that's not important. And even though NOBODY else was thinking this (even though they have similar names), Gray's was NOT written Gandalf the Grey of Lord of the Rings fame. He's not even real... Although I have to believe that guy would be a great anatomist given the opportunity.
So that about sums it all up... in all seriousness, though, I really am looking forward to getting this class done with. It's been hard, and even though I've enjoyed some parts of it, it will be great to get this monkey off my back (if you will).

In an aside, the GFS flag football Blue League better look out, cause I got my cleats now. MBA students, you have been warned... lol, just kidding, I'm having a hard time believing we'll win any games... but you never know.

This is going to be a big week for me. I have roughly 7 days until the Gross Anatomy National Discipline Exam. Thus far in my anatomy class we have studied all areas of the body, seemingly at light speed, with no real pause or review. Now though, I am supposed to have learned everything that I need to know, and itis time for that review.

What time is it when the clock strikes 13?

At what point does studying become excessive? I think today may have reached that point. As it is now almost 3 in the morning, and I just got home from school, I think I can safely say that. However, what if it seems like nothing has 'sunk in'? Isn't that a bad thing? My test is tomorrow afternoon, with the Gross Anatomy National Discipline Exam to follow next Friday. I hope that the 7 weeks of studying has actually prepared me to take a test that puts my knowledge up against that of people who will have spent an entire semester studying it... can you say "rushed"? I can.
Not that it won't be great to have Gross Anatomy out of the way... its the one medical school class that EVERYONE knows about, and that I've been fearful of for about 5 years. To be honest, its been just as hard as I thought it would be. Just a LOT shorter. But again, it'll all be over in about a week! Unless I fail it, and have to remediate over the summer... that would be fun... not.

In a sidenote, the year that I buy season tickets to Notre Dame football games WOULD be the year they start out 0-4... Not that I'm a huge fan, but yeah, its probably more fun to watch a good team than an awful one.

It 'Dens' Here

Today was eerily similar to most every other day in the last week or so. Nothing too exciting. But, what you should probably be aware of are anatomy jokes. "What does that mean," you ask? Well, anatomy jokes are basically like regular jokes, but about anatomy. Dens jokes, fundifom jokes, hypogastric spray jokes, really almost anything. How in the world are those things funny? Well, I think its a combination of the inhalation of too many fumes in the lab and sleep deprivation that make almost anything hysterical. I've been making jokes about stuff I never dreamed of laughing at even a few short weeks ago. And also, other people are laughing with me and making jokes of their own!

Long Monday...

As it turns out, its a little bit weird to spend almost all of you time with the same 15 or so people. That's pretty much what has been going on in my life (give or take time not spent at school). To be honest, its not all bad, but in some ways, I feel like I'm losing touch with the rest of the world. I suppose that's life. But it is nice to actually talk to "normal" people every once in a while--not that that ever happens...
Today was Monday (maybe you knew that--its the best day of the week...). Weekend is over, an time to get back to studying. Boring stuff, but only 3 more weeks of anatomy! Quick recap of the weekend for ya: Friday night--went to a 'barbecue' after my exam. Saturday--woke up ~12. Went to laundromat for about 4 hours. By that time it was time for dinner. That's about all I did on Saturday. Sunday--finally went to church. Grace Church in Granger. It was cool. It was good to be at church again. Then I came home, did some studying, and then went and got my hair cut. Just for the record, Greatclips ain't got nothing on Gary's Barber Shop.

So yeah. Weekend was good. Long Monday, not so great, but not bad either. Long Tuesday's coming up though.

Weekend

Earlier today, I had an exam. What that really means is that this is a REAL weekend! Nevermind how I did on the test, I don't have anything hanging over my head for Monday. It's almost like being normal again...

Anyway, not a whole lot to write down, but its pretty sweet.

NPR

I think I'm finally getting used to my life now. I'm kind of getting to know how to get around the city, I'm kind of used to my schedule, and kind of getting a handle on school, and my apartment. Of course I'm busy, but you know, everybody's busy with something, and mine just happens to be school right now.

I was listening to the radio while I was driving to and from school (several times), and they were playing some interviews and sound bytes of people who had some connection to the 9/11 attacks. It was strange to hear some of those news-casts again, 6 years later, and think about what really happened. I guess it was more sad than strange. And then to think about what has happened since then, well, I'm sure everyone has similar thoughts about it.
That's something nobody really wants to relive, but I'm sure nobody would want to forget it either.

Well, its almost time for another exam! Friday. Not good. I did good on the quiz this week, but I don't know that that means a whole lot. I guess I'll have to study more. I spent a couple hours in the lab tonight. Hope it pays off.

Day 21

Today has been another Monday. I'm halfway done with gross anatomy! Which is good. I went jogging today, and realized I'm pretty well out of shape. I hadn't jogged since, maybe, a week ago Thursday. Anyway, I finished my route, but I was pretty tired afterwards.

So I was tired. Then I went to the school to do some reading. Well, I guess I was just tired, and not really liking reading too much. So I fell asleep in my chair for like an hour. Then this other guy came in and said something to me, and I got so startled I about had a heart attack. Yeah, that was pretty crazy.

So, yeah, this here post is turning out to be pretty boring. I guess it was a good day, there just isn't that much unique to write about.

It's like bringing a knife to a gunfight

Today was Sunday. More studying all day, and I still feel like I got nowhere. No worries though, I just have a quiz tomorrow morning... I think if someone was to ask me how I felt about studying anatomy, I would say that when I study anatomy, it's like bringing a knife to a gunfight. It's just hard.

On the positive side of life, canine rabies has been eliminated from the US (recently announced). So, booyah. I think you can still get it from bats though. Which kind of sucks, cause a couple of weeks ago there was a bat flying around in my apartment. So maybe I have rabies now... That wouldn't be fun. I can still drink water though, so probably not. Anyways... That's about all I've got to say. Sianara

Sober Moment

Earlier today, I had what you might call a sober moment. That is, of course, if I were an alcoholic. As it is, I'm a med student, and it was more of a "why am I so stressed about this stuff?" moment. I was driving over to the school for a "make-up" lecture session that my professor was gonna do for the four of us that went to see surgeries on Friday and missed lecture, and I just thought to myself, "Hey, why aren't you happier right now? There's no reason not to be." Well, there really wasn't. Or isn't. I mean, I've got a lot of stuff to do, but isn't this what I signed up for? Anyway, I was a lot happier after that. It may sound like something really small to all excited about, but it was really an epiphany for me (of sorts).

Adventures in the Laboratory

Well, it's been another long day of studying at the ol' IUSM-SB. Probably about 5-7 hours in lab, and some others in lecture/Team Based Learning (read: waste of time). Its been a long, day, and really the only thing on my mind is sleeping, and the fact that I have not yet learned what I need to learn.

Good news, though, I was in the lab tonight, and some of us were looking around at structures and things, and my professor, Dr. Dave, walks in, and pulls three of us out of the room (we're all three in the same lab group with one other guy), and says that he wants to let us go to see these operations that are going to be happening on Friday, on the areas of the body we're learning about right now. So, I guess I get to go observe an operation on Friday instead of go to lecture. Which is cool, cause I don't really like lecture, but I think I'll be able to learn a ton from seeing an operation done, especially now that I've got some kind of background (and I've seen operations in the past and they were sweet).

Alright, well in closing, let me tell you a story:

In a small village, there was a donkey. And one day the donkey got chased by a coyote, and it ran so fast, and couldn't see where it was going, and see where the coyote was at the same time, and so it fell into a well. Well, the villagers tried to rescue the donkey, but to no avail. Unfortunately, the donkey's braying and struggling were very loud, and so to end the donkeys misery, the villagers decided to fill in the well around the donkey. But this donkey was no jackass. With every shovelful of dirt the villagers threw in, she would climb up just a little bit higher. And higher, and higher, and higher, until finally, the villagers had filled up the well. The donkey was on level ground, and she just walked away, unharmed, but for a few bumps and bruises from the fall.

Dissection, or Dissec-FUN?

Today, I really got into my dissection. I really enjoyed it. I can't say that I know everything perfectly, but I got to trace some nerves and things, and--though that may sound boring, or strange--I really liked it. It just gave me a sense of competence. In this case, it was following nerves that I was trying to do. But some other time, maybe it will be something else. It is hard to explain what I was feeling, but it was good.

So, I know that I passed my "wet" lab exam, but I don't know how I did on my written multiple choice exam yet. I do know, however, that the class average was a 66%. Passing is 70%, so... yeah, probably most of us failed. But we shall see.

So, as I was driving home tonight, it occurred to me just how close to school I live, and how great that is. It's really just a 5 minute drive. I walked to the football game this weekend, and that took me past the medical school building, and it took me about 25 minutes to walk there from home. It's great.

Alright, well, its time for bed, and hopefully I'll have more crazy dreams (I've been having really crazy dreams recently, in case anyone cares).

The Labor Day that wasn't

Earlier today I went jet-skiing for the first time ever. It was pretty sweet. This girl in my class's family has a lake house on Lake Tippecanoe, so a couple of us went down there and hung out this afternoon. But as you know, all breaks come to an end, and even though most of America is celebrating Labor Day tomorrow, I'm going to class. So I've spent all evening and night studying. Fun times.
I've thought more about my exam on Friday, and I really don't know whether or not I passed. I'm somewhat optimistic, but not TOO optimistic. Now, we were talking about our anatomy class with this girl's dad who's an orthopedic surgeon, and he seemed to think that having an ER doctor as our teacher instead of a professional Anatomist (i.e., somebody with a PhD in Anatomy) wasn't good. I don't know, but I do know that we don't have real lectures (which is probably the way I learn best), and our last test was insanely hard.

Now, its the weekend

Earlier today was the day of my first anatomy exam. The schedule is set up so that we have exams of Fridays, leaving us the weekend to do... whatever we want. Which is great. Anyway, the test was hard. Easily the hardest test I've had, it seemed to make no difference that I had spent hours and hours reading and learning, in the lab (until 3am last night), and thinking about almost nothing else. Imagine walking in off the street, sitting down, and taking an algebra test without ever studying for it--that's just about what I felt like.

But, at least I wasn't the only one who thought that. After the exam, everybody in my class stood around for awhile outside the school and just complained about it. So at least that made me feel like I wasn't the only one who didn't do amazing. I guess that's a good thing. Anyways, after the test, we all went out. And as much as I'd like to say we didn't even think about school, I'll be honest, we ended up talking about it quite a bit.

In closing, in approximately 12 hours, I will be attending the Notre Dame vs. Georgia Tech football game. Booya.

Mediocre is... OK?!?

This past week I've been coming to grips with mediocrity. I've always been mediocre is some (or many, depending who you ask) areas of life. But, I've usually been pretty well at the top of my classes. Now, I'll be honest, I enjoyed that quite a bit, and it made me feel real good about myself to know that if I put in the work, that I could do pretty well on whatever I was doing. Well, I think those days may be over...

In the past three or so weeks since school started, I have been made acutely aware of the fact that I am not (in fact) the smartest or most brilliant person in the world. I mean, I already knew that, but what I mean is that I feel, sort of, mediocre (at best). And I guess that's OK, but it is a little bit of a change. Especially for someone who has put so much emphasis on getting the "best" grades, and wanted to "win" competitions with certain people (you know who are probably), to be the "average" is sort of disheartening.

The thing is, I was warned that this would happen. I went to an interview at Baylor last fall, and even though I'm not going there, I think what they told me still holds true. They said that we would need to get used to being in the "middle of the curve", because there were so many smart people there. I definitely feel in the middle of the curve right now. And I think that I'm just finally starting to understand just how frustrating it can be to not be the one getting A's or High Pass, or whatever standard you want to set.

I think that one of the things that I need to do going forward is to forget about being competitive, and remember that I'm not competing with anyone (well, I guess kind of I am), and I shouldn't let it get to me that someone else knows, say, the branches of the axillary artery, better than I do. I need to not get upset about it, or get mad at them, or myself. I need to just do what I need to do to get me to learn what I need to know, and not worry about what my classmates think about me, or what I think about them. Of course that's easier said than done. But to quote my uncle, you have to act your way into feeling, not feel your way into acting sometimes. And what that means for me is that I need to stop acting like it bothers me when people know more than I do, and hopefully it will cause me less stress in the long run.

In addition, I'm hoping that I start to settle into a groove in my studies and in living in South Bend before too long. I think that will really go a long way toward making me a happier, and better all around person. Hopefully a good nights' sleep will also help. Goodnight.

The benefits of exercise

Earlier this evening, I went for a jog. I was very pleased with myself. I enjoy jogging, but when I get busy, I usually tend to put it off. Consequently, I hadn't been out since last Thursday--not the way to maintain any kind of physical fitness. Be that as it may, after I got back, I was thinking about jogging, and I think it has benefits in addition to just being "good for you".

First, it lets you "get out", and see new parts of the world. Or possibly just different parts than where you usually might be. Second, it let's you become more familiar with you surroundings. When you drive by something, you can't really LOOK at it. But when you jog by, you go slower (at least I do), and you can really look. That may not sound too important, and it may not ever be that critical to survival, but I think that it is important to be aware of your surroundings, and going for a jog allows you to that better.

Some more thoughts on the day are that:

1. I think I pretty much failed my anatomy quiz. It wasn't that it was so hard, it was just over a lot of things, and I think I just emphasized studying the things that weren't on the quiz.
2. I went to the laundromat today, and I rediscovered how much I hate doing laundry.
3. There's a guy that comes around my neighborhood on a bike and goes "dumpster-diving" (actually this is about Saturday but oh well) at the house across the road (they're remodeling it so there's a dumpster there), and on Saturday, I was sitting on my porch, and I watched him pull this big tank out (like an air compressor tank), and I thought he was going to carry it away on his bike. He didn't, he just took it apart and took part of it, but it would have been funny to see a guy riding around with that on a bike. In a related note, you can probably imagine why he's doing that in the first place.
4. I think I may be the world's slowest reader.

On that note, I retire. To my study. To study.

I know the brachial plexus like the back of my, umm...brachial plexus?

This morning I went to the church of Behavioral Science. Which means I read for Behavioral Science all morning. Thus far, my Sundays in South Bend have not included going to church. I could attribute that to having too much work to do, but I think the real issue is a combination of laziness, and the fact that it is actually a daunting task to find a new church. Anyway, I'm sure I'll find one soon.
Today has been a day of more, mixed in with more studying. In addition to that, though, I signed up for Pandora (the internet radio website), and it is pretty sweet. So I enjoyed some music while I was studying. Plus it's free.

A few random thoughts before I draw this to a close. First, I can't wait until football season. Second, I like sleeping, but recently, I've been having some really weird dreams.

A slight change of pace

Being Saturday, today was little different from the routine. I woke up a couple of hours later for one thing. So that started the day off right. I was supposed to be getting my internet connection set up today between 10am and 1pm. So I got up for that, and waited around at home while I studied, until the guy from Comcast finally showed up at 1:35pm. I guess that's what you expect.
Anyway, after he set up my internet, he left, and then I went on over to the med school building to do some dissecting that my partner and I hadn't finished yesterday. For about 4 hours... It wasn't really that bad, but it was a lot of time to spend dissecting when I would have like to be either a) studying, or b) going to the laundromat. I did end up studying later tonight, but not going to the laundromat.
Now, that may seem like an insignificant detail to you, but its a bigger one to me. I haven't had to worry about GOING to do my laundry before. Now, doing laundry is kind of a big time commitment. Anyways, I still need to do it. It just takes some getting used to.
One thing that I have not mentioned as of yet is that pretty much all I can think about right now is studying. If I'm not actually doing it, I'm thinking about it. I even woke up dreaming about arteries and veins and what not this morning. I never had to study so hard before, except one time, we had a big animal biology lab exam, and we studied like crazy for it. Like days and days, and we knew it backwards and forwards. I've got to tell you, I got a 100 on that exam (my shining moment). So far, school is like that, except every day and night, and I don't think I know anything backwards and forwards, and I don't think getting a 100% is even a remote possibility.
It is nice to know, though, that I'm finally doing what I've been planning and hoping to do for 5 or 6 years. I guess I'll probably feel differently in a few months or something, but I am really happy to finally be starting in medicine, as opposed to biology.

I have been studying all night up till now. On Friday... How lame is that? That is all.